Why do I write? Self appreciation note of a dolt!

People often ask me, why do I write? They ask me how I get time to write despite my job and need to eat and defecate.Of course, I don’t have a reason for that. A writer should never have a reason to write just like a lover should never have a reason to love.

I am a boring person. Not that I was ever a crowd charmer, but now I have even stopped trying. If you try too hard doing something you are not meant for, you look like a loser.I like my corner couch in the office corridor with a cup of cappuccino more relaxing than wooing in a pub. When I am not writing I am enjoying the life as it is, looking at the birds, watching porn, getting lost in the city once in a while and taking a random stroll to a random stranger for a random talk.

I don’t know whether I write well or not. But I was definitely passionate despite being mediocre and mostly a reader of short stories and simple words instead of heavyweights like Shakespeare and Dickens. I never went for a literature degree. Never attended writing workshops. My vocabulary is worse than most secondary school kids out there.

I generally get rejected by magazines and other places where writers get popular. They say that they read my work, liked it, but they don’t have a space for me this time. ‘Keep sending, keep writing’ is what they generally end with. I have taken this as my slogan of life. Maybe, at fifty or ninety I would be good enough to be read by the world.

Some people who are kind and endearing, some known, some unknown, say that my work reminds them of Tagore and Bachchan, O. Henry and RK Narayan. I am not disillusioned by such comparisons. I remember how people would call me Wasim Akram when I was in the second standard because I was the only left arm bowler in the locality. I was also compared to Rahul Dravid once when I didn’t get out and didn’t make any run for nearly two hours.

But yes I have improved, mostly due to practice and because I love writing as much as I love the girl I love. Irrespective of how mediocre and imperfect I might be, I don’t write to become famous or to get rich (nor am I famous or rich).

I just write because that is what I do even when I am stuck in a traffic jam at the end of a shitty day. At times, when I see people getting popular, being read, receiving comments and people who are more resourceful than me in terms of talent and else, it makes me envious for two seconds. But it is only until I have not held my pen. To write and dismiss and to write again until I am immersed back into my world, where I am immortal and omnipotent. Where I am a god. God of small things and big alike!

I want to keep scribbling until the day I sit on my commode for the last time like the king of seven kingdoms. And the day I can’t even do that, I would better be dead.


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