One about the dying laptop and a dying heart…

The dolt is back. It has been a busy two weeks for me. A little bad health and too much run of the mill stuff here and there. Besides, my bff, the only person I trust in this world, my laptop, is dying a slow death.

The adapter has stopped adapting, keyboard doesn’t ring well these days, touchpad has gone a bit too touchy and worst of them, my lappy has developed a temper of its own. It heats up and shuts down on its own, like a girlfriend. Thanks to it, I don’t miss having a girlfriend.

Hard times folks! Hard times! Maybe, I will have to let it go. Maybe it is time for me to move on. It is not easy you know. 5 years. I might cry when we part. I know it would die and I can’t do a thing about it.

Besides, the dolt was a bit scandalized by the current world affairs.

In a matter of two weeks, so much happened, good, bad and ugly that it became hard for me to comprehend things.

I have never seen the world outside India with my own two eyes. Once went to Nepal because we don’t need a visa for Kathmandu and we can totally reach Nepal by a bus. So, that is that.

But, in my same two eyes, the biggest dream, if there was one, was to visit Paris, to know the city in all its beauty. It is hard to put in words, what Paris meant to me. And then this happened,


Of all places, ISIS decided to burn Paris, the city of lights, the city of love.

You know, right before the attacks happened, I was about to write a post about Aung Suu Kyi’s victory in Myanmar. How democracy had won, how humanity had triumphed. And while I was in the middle of the draft, I saw this news on TV. It broke my heart. It has been the worst heartbreak since Lesnar ended Taker’s streak at Wrestlemania. (Yes, I am comparing a scripted match with a brutal attack against humanity. Don’t judge me for that.)

Yet again, the beast of apathy had outperformed the one that should have won. Yet again, humanity was lying down on its chest in front of those who never should have existed in first place.

But something even worse happened that day. Something that had happened even after 9/11. Actions of a certain group that uses the name of a religion to cause terror, had made the entire religion a terrorist. At least, that is how it was perceived. Suddenly, entire human race started hating Muslims, all over again.

Every time one human hates another human, humanity dies. Every time one human kills another human, humanity dies. And, every time humanity dies, my heart dies a bit. A part of it disappears, diluting into the blood that run in my veins. Maybe, every true human being, who is made of empathy feels the same.

I am watching humanity die and I can’t do a fucking thing about it. Just like my laptop. As Anonymous said once, “Helplessness is the worst feeling in the world.”

I am not too old. But I have seen so much apathy and hatred in my young life that my eyes feel tired. My heart feels a little less. Maybe I am the only one who feels that way. But don’t get offended. My feelings and my opinions do not matter. What do I know anyway, I am a dolt.



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